


What Happens in the Chat Stays in the Chat

by FreckledKnell



Category: ASTRO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Epistolary, M/M, Suggestive language, chat fic, i will update the relationships as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9846368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreckledKnell/pseuds/FreckledKnell
Summary: Who said romance was dead in the 21st century?[Or a look at Bangstro's group chat, and how Binkook got together.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> moobin: Moon Bin
> 
> junglecock: Jungkook
> 
> jimblesneutron: Jimin
> 
> popocky: Rocky
> 
> sananananananananna: Sanha
> 
> mom1: Seokjin
> 
> minsugageniusjjangjjangmanbboongbboong: Yoongi
> 
> mom2: Jinwoo
> 
> prettyboiwoo: Eunwoo

**_moobin_ ** **_:_ **

bitches aint shit but hoes and trix ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** **_junglecock_ ** ****_:_

trixs. liek the cereal? bin u do kno they mean tricks like ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ******_junglecock:_ **

sex 4 money right  
**_  
_ ** **_moobin:_ **

wait  
**_  
_ ** **_moobin_ ** **_:_ **

so dr.dre  
**_  
_ ** **_moobin :_ **

wasnt talking about a balanced breakfast  
**_  
_ ** **_junglecock:_ **

bin no ****_  
_

* * *

 

 

**_  
_ _jimblesneutron:_ **

idk how ppl can see sleeping on the couch as a punishment like shit  
**_  
_ ** **_jimblesneutron:_ **

gimme a blanket and pillow and I'll live on that dang thing  
**_  
_ ** **_popocky:_ **

i’m sayin ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ******_junglecock:_ **

u’re gonna have to fight me for the couch u shits ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ******_popocky:_ **

we dnt even live in the same dorm hyung ****_  
_ **_  
_ _sananananananananna:_ **

if u think about it every bike is an exercise bike  
**_  
_ ** **_junglecock:_ **

thats what im sayin ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ******_sananananananananna:_ **

can someone besides jungkook hyung respond to me i see u guys lurking  
**_  
_ ** **_mom1:_ **

on a side note who wants freshly made brownies at 10pm ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** **_jimblesneutron_ ** ****_:_

ME ****__  
**  
****mom1** : 

theyre frosted too  
**_  
_ ** **_minsugageniusjjangjjangmanbboongbboong:_ **

bithc me ****_  
_ **_  
_****_mom2:_ **

me: I should hang out w/ friends or something maybe ask out a crush. yoogni: no, not today. Me: ight then ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ******_moobin:_ **

this whole chat is a freakin mess ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ******_prettyboiwoo:_ **

this is why i just lurk jfc

  
_ prettyboiwoo has left the chat _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theincrediblerock: Rocky
> 
> taeHUNG: Taehyung
> 
> YourHope: Hoseok
> 
> SanNAH: Sanha
> 
> AgustGimmeTheD: Yoongi
> 
> SeokWIN: Seokjin 
> 
> Happyvirus: MJ
> 
> HUNGkook: Jungkook
> 
> NamSWOON: Namjoon
> 
> Jinwho: Jinwoo
> 
> Chimminie: Jimin

**_Theincrediblerock_ ** : 

this whole chat is a gay sasuage fest and idek how 2 deal anymore

  
  
**_taeHUNG:_ **

yeah but like at least its not cocktail sausages

 

**_YourHope_ ** : 

more like frankfurter hot dogs AM I RIGHT

 

**_SanNAH:_ **

ur all dead to me

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD_ ** : 

Hoseok I'm never letting u fuck me again

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

U will forever be dead to me. Im now going to go propose 2 MJ instead of you

 

**_SeokWIN:_ **

ahahahahaha YES HOBI

 

**_Happyvirus:_ **

i demand a ring pop 4 my engagement ring

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

u got it hot stuff

 

**_YourHope:_ **

MIN YOONGI DO YOU WANT TO GET SPANKED SO HELP ME GOD

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

Is that even a question

 

**_HUNGkook:_ **

geddit hyung

 

_ SanNAH has left the chat _

_Theincrediblerock_ _has left the chat_

 

**_NamSWOON :_ **

Look what u did u scared the kids away

 

**_NamSWOON:_ **

the moms will be pissed @ you

 

**_SeokWIN :_ **

who scared the babies away  
  
**_Jinwho :_ **

we just got them to come back gdi

 

**_TaeHUNG:_ **

they're just salty cus they've gotta jerk off in their socks

 

**_Chimminie_ ** : 

omfg

 

_SeokWIN_ _has removed_ _taeHUNG_ _from the chat_

 

**_NamSWOON:_ **

good call

 

**_SeokWIN:_ **

We all jerked off in our socks once

 

**_NamSWOON:_ **

jfc

 

**_Jinwho:_ **

i can hear rocky and sanha screaming i think yoongi hyung scarred them

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD :_ **

I'll send them a fruit basket or some shit my bad

 

**_Happyvirus :_ **

a fruit basket or some shit

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

do u have a better idea, fiance of mine?

 

**_YourHope:_ **

YOONGI

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

Come home asshole and then maybe I won't feel the need to jump on MJ's dixk

 

**_Happyvirus:_ **

Eunwoo can u believe Yoongi's hitting on me

 

**_Happyvirus:_ **

lets just get them a buncha snacks they'll love that shit

 

**_Happyvirus:_ **

sHIT WRONG CHAT

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA

 

**_NamSWOON:_ **

AHAHAHAHAHSYHRIRJRHHEUWBDKDJDJE FUC

 

**_SeokWIN:_ **

omfg

 

**_Jinwho:_ **

mj hyung is there something you wanna share w thr chat

 

_Happyvirus_ _left the chat_

 

**_JinWho:_ **

bless

 

**_AgustGimmeTheD:_ **

poor kid


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moony: Bin
> 
> TolBaby: Sanha
> 
> Jinx2: JinJin
> 
> MajesticMan: Eunwoo
> 
> OldManMin: Yoongi
> 
> Eomma: Seokjin
> 
> Mitsubishi: Rocky
> 
> 2Young2B30: MJ
> 
> Jnope: Hoseok
> 
> Godofdestruction: Namjoon
> 
> Minniemouse: Jimin
> 
> Taegeting: Taehyung
> 
> Kookiejar: Jungkook

**_Moony:_ **

let's get taco bell

  
**_TolBaby:_ **

my mom said no

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

that's weird cus I'm at starbucks with her rn for our bi weekly coffee date and she's annoyed that u never go out

 

**_TolBaby:_ **

wtf why are you dating my mom

 

**_MajesticMan:_ **

ye jinjin why u dating his mom?????

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

it's a lady date fuckers she is a great woman

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

i'm a goddamn lady and i expect to be treated like one sometimes

  
  
**_OldManMin:_ **

i cant tell if i went right with you or wrong

 

**_MajesticMan:_ **

so... so wrong

 

**_TolBaby:_ **

I'm rly creeped out rn

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

SHUT UP I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH OLDER PEOPLE JUST LOOK AT ROCKY AND SEOKJIN HYUNG

 

**_Eomma:_ **

oh I know you didn't just say that

 

**_Mitsubishi:_ **

trololololol

 

**_Mitsubishi:_ **

u wanna go hyung?

 

**_Moony:_ **

ok so who's coming to taco bell tho

 

**_2Young2B30:_ **

Im down

**_Jnope:_ **

ill go if MJs going  
  
**_OldManMin:_ **

HA GAYYY

 

**_Godofdestruction:_ **

you GUYS that's adorable

 

**_Jnope:_ **

I take it back I'm only going if MJ's NOT

 

**_minniemouse:_ **

Hobi I thought we had something special :(((((((((

 

**_Taegeting:_ **

theres not one straight man in this chat

 

**_Godofdestruction:_ **

tacos look like vaginas right

 

**_OldManMin:_ **

I…

 

**_Eomma:_ **

oh god

 

**_OldManMin:_ **

nope I got nothing anyone else

 

_Mitsubishi_ _left the chat_

 

**_TolBaby:_ **  

i want a taco but all 3 moms said no :(

 

**_Taegeting:_ **

what vaginas have u seen

 

**_Moony:_ **

I literally wanna die rn

 

**_Eomma:_ **

im now gonna check our laptops history brb

 

**_Godofdestruction:_ **

ok to be fair vaginas don't have lettuce in them

 

**_Taegeting:_ **

idk joon ive seen some weird porn

 

**_Jnope:_ **

Tae what do you do in your spare time

  
  
**_MajesticMan:_ **

srsly i think i need bleach rn

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

i hope you fuckers know sanha's mom is now scarred because of you

 

**_Godofdestruction:_ **

this is gonna be a meme isn't it

 

**_Godofdestruction:_ **

Fuck

 

**_Moony:_ **

yes

 

**_2Young2B30:_ **

wait wtf did i miss why is there lettuce in vaginas

 

**_2Young2B30:_ **

Tae send me a link

 

_TolBaby_ _left the chat_

 

**_Jnope:_ **

yoonhi im rethinking our seduction subject

 

**_OldManMin:_ **

yeeeeeeaaah same

 

**_OldManMin:_ **

.... Eunwoo?

 

**_2Young2B30:_ **

NO SEDUCE ME

 

**_2Young2B30:_ **

I DESERVE IT

 

**_MajesticMan:_ **

nope nah I'd sooner join jinwoos lady dates

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

wait.....HYUNG YOU CANT SEDUCE MJ HE'S MY BFF

 

**_Jinx2:_ **

hyung i dont wanna live w/ you anymore

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_Moony:_ **

yo kookie hyung. wanna go get taco bell because i really want some taco bell i dont know why

 

**_kookiejar:_ **

bin what the fuck its 3 n the morning

 

**_kookiejar:_ **

bin are you at my door?

 

**_kookiejar:_ **

bin what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sanha&Rocky: junior/senior in high school
> 
> Eunwoo&Bin: just graduated high school
> 
> Jinwoo: In college, yoongi's lil bro, lives w/ him
> 
> Mj: In college, bff w/ JinJin
> 
> Namjoon&Taehyung&Jimin: all in college as well
> 
> Hobi: Working, Yoongi's bf
> 
> Yoongi: Working, Jinjins big bro, Hobi's bf, will fight you over chips and his brothers 'honor'
> 
> Seokjin: Mom, mess™, working, everyone probably sleeps there once a month
> 
> Jungkook: freshly graduated, #collegelyfe, big gay crush on bin but doesnt kno it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OneTrueHyung: Seokjin
> 
> Bin_andpuppycat: Bin
> 
> ✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿: Taehyung
> 
> jimimingles: Jimin

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

seokjin hyung how does one fkirt?

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

well first you spell flirt right

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

i didnt come here to be sassed oml

  
  
**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

then u shouldn't have come to me

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

I never had to flirt I'm too pretty to flirt

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

Im the firtee not the flirter

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

I'm asking Hobi and Yoongi hyung

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

srsly have you seen Yoongi flirt it's sad

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

ok but at least he'd give me advice..i mean....theyre not doing that bad w/ mj hyung?

  
  
**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

yesterday hoseok and yoongi tried to tell me a burger king dinner could be romantic

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

they wanted to romance mj with burger king

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

they r so doing bad

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

but...ok what about Namjoon hyung

 

**_OneTrueHyung:_ **

lol ur funny

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

THATS UR BOYFRIEND. U LOVE HIM.

 

**_OneTrueHyung :_ **

I mean if u wanna get technical yea

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

Jimin hyung Tae hyung I need help

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

did u cum in ur pants again bc ur on ur own there

 

**_jimimingles:_ **

tae no

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat:_ **

wtf hyung no

 

_ **Bin_andpuppycat** **:** _

i need to know how to flirt with kook hyung

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

call his dick a deep-v diver

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

luigi

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

purple-header yogurt flinger

 

**_jimimingles:_ **

oh god dknt listen to thsi dicktwitch

 

**_jimimingles:_ **

this is what you should do

 

**_jimimingles:_ **

literally just be ur cute ass puppy cat self. be all cute nd innocent nd shit like awlays

 

**_jimimingles:_ **

some stray ab pics won't hurt either

 

**_jimimingles_ ** : 

invite him over for som3 ddr or just dance or sm shit nd take ur shirt off nd be like

 

**_jimimingles:_ **

‘oh srry hyung i just got hot’ he'll def die but like in a good way

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

if that doesnt work u can always jist get a thong made of lettuce, lean up seductively and whisper

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

‘lettuce fuck’

 

**_✿✿✿taeby✿✿✿:_ **

if that doesnt work calling his penis a weapon of ass destruction def will

 

**_Bin_andpuppycat_ ** : 

tae hyung i worry for you sometimes

 

**_ jimimingles: _ **

same but only bc why does the cam boy give shit flirting advice. how does he make mney like this. it does me a concern.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OhMJ: Myungjun
> 
> Yoongles: Yoongi
> 
> ThineFather: Hoseok
> 
> Binaling: Bin
> 
> Gayhung: Taehyung
> 
> JingleBells: Jinwoo
> 
> Beagle: Sanha
> 
> Jim: Jimin

**_OhMJ:_ **

You amaze me Min Yoongi

  
**_Yoongles:_ **   
hyung min yoongi hyung   
  


**_OhMJ:_ **   
min asshole   
  


**_Yoongles:_ **   
fair enough ill accept that

 

**_ThineFather:_ **

Lol whatd he do this time

 

**_OhMJ:_ **

so there we were casually watchjng some poor bastardz on reality tv

 

**_OhMJ:_ **

when my stomach grkwls & this asshole lokks at me and goes 

 

**_OhMJ:_ **

‘the baby growled at me’ and i jsyt

 

**_OhMJ:_ **

1) i have a goddammed dick & 2) even i could get pregnant why would j expose that kid 2 you guys ur all a mess

 

**_ThineFather:_ **

this honestly isnt what i expefted but I love it anyways

 

* * *

 

**_Binaling:_ **

i just realized ill have the house to myself this weekend

 

**_Gayhung:_ **

WOOO PARTY

 

**_Binaling:_ **

wyfm party i have like 1 friend and thats rocky

 

**_JingleBells:_ **

wow okay rude

 

**_Beagle:_ **

what does that make rest of us then huh

 

**_Binaling:_ **

pets i neverwanted

 

**_jim:_ **

wow rude x2

 

**_jim:_ **

& if ur not gonna party w/ us you should party w/ jungkookie by urself ;^)

 

**_JingleBells:_ **

excuse me but i suddenly have to go and beat jimin hyungs ass

 

_ Jinglebells _ _ has left the chat _

 

**_ Beagle: _ **

Hyung better run bc jinjin hyung just left in the middle of dancing with Rocky hyung to go beat u up

 

**_jim:_ **

oh shit 

 

**_jim:_ **

Im dead


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jhoe: Hoseok
> 
> plsgivejams: Jimin
> 
> kimgaehyung: Taehyung
> 
> dancemachine: Rocky
> 
> sleepyBinnie: Bin
> 
> jeoncena: Jungkook
> 
> yoonGAY: Yoongi

**_Jhoe:_ **

So did jinjin kill jimin or are we canceling the funeral

  
  
**_Jhoe:_ **

bc if we’re canceling then i have to return the suit

 

**_plsgivejams:_ **

Wow hyung youre pretty ready for my death

  
  
**_kimgaehyung:_ **

Trololololol nah not yet

 

**_kimgaehyung:_ **

at least not until yoogi finds out he diddlyed his prescious baby brother

 

**_plsgivejams:_ **

tAEWHY?

 

**_kimgaehyung:_ ** **_  
_ ** Talk shit get hit

  
  
**_plsgivejams:_ **

I diDNT TALK SHIT??!!?

 

**_kimgaehyung:_ **

well you ate my ice cream its basically the same thing

 

**_Jhoe:_ **

ye jimin u really wanna run now

  
  
**_dancemachine:_ **

if jimin hyung dies can i have his hats

 

**_sleepyBinnie:_ **

no wait rocky i want them

  
  
**_plsgivejams:_ **

guys?!?!?! are you even gonna try to help me?!?!

  
  
**_jeoncena:_ **

Nah

  
  
**_sleepyBinnie:_ **

nada

  
  
**_dancemachine:_ **

you dug ur own grave hyng

 

**_yoonGAY:_ **

your ass better fucking hide park

 

_ plsgivejams _ _ has left the chat _

 

**_Jhoe:_ **

So,,,,,,,,,,i keep the suit?

 

**_dance_ ** **_machine:_ **

oh definitely hobi hyung


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm not dead!! I'm going to try to update this fic more often but alas, I am but an overworked high school senior. So pls comment you guys, it gives me so much more motivation to write because it means I know I'm not just throwing the work I did inta space, ya know? 
> 
> ANYWAYS onto the fic, I have sm doozies of phrases for ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sTaewithme: Taehyung
> 
> Jimoan: Jimin
> 
> actualManhwaMan: Eunwoo
> 
> sinyoongi: Yoongi
> 
> hosucc: Hoseok
> 
> jungidontfiveafuck: Jungkook
> 
> Jinger: Seokjin
> 
> bingles: Bin
> 
> oownij: JinJin

**_ sTAEwithme:  _ **

if there is one sacred truth in this world

 

**_ sTAEwithme: _ **

it is that spitters are quitters

 

_**Jimoan:** _

how do i unsubscribe from a friendship

 

** _actualManhwaMan:_ **

Hyung there  are children present

 

_**sTAEwithme:** _

i'm srry, how abt this instead

 

_**sTAEwithme:** _

if you wanna fucc anthro bowser are you a furry or just weird  


_**sinyoongi:** _

Tae i s2g keep youre weirdass self away from my brother i dont need u corrupting his innocnce  


_**sTAEwithmy** _

ok but liek,,,,,ive went to a strip club with jinjin before  


_**sTAEhyung:** _

he got on the pole  
  
  
_**sTAEhyung:**_

nd honestly hyung i can see why jimin wants to wrecc that, im temptd myself  
  
  
_**sTAEhyung:**_

Min Jinwoo pole dancing is humanitys single most greatest achievment  


** _sTAEhyung:_ **

prime time yanky doodle material

 

_**hosucc:** _

whats w/ the 95z abd thier apparent lack of self preservation

 

_**hosucc:** _

hey tae u might wanna hide i just heard the front door close

 

* * *

 

_**jungidontgiveafuck:** _

so should i prepare for another funeral after jimins or are we gonna combine them

  
  
_**Jinger:** _

at this point i think the morge is gonna give us a gd discount

 

_**bingles:** _

can i site homocide as why i didnt do my homework  


_**oownij:** _

dont you mean homicide  


_**bingles:** _

ik hwat i said hyung. this whole feckin chat is some form of gay

  
  
_**oownij:** _

oh  
  
  
_**oownij:**_

carry on then

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to scream with me about BTS and ASTRO on my tumblr and twitter ♡♡
> 
> @lazyrapperjinjin & @whereismylaifu


End file.
